


every time i look up in the sky (rooftop)

by zombiepops



Category: N.Flying (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Korean-American Character, Light Angst, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, basically Jaehyun and Hun sit on the roof and talk about their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25852525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiepops/pseuds/zombiepops
Summary: “When I die,” Jaehyun says suddenly. It’s a quiet whisper, but the night is still and the words carry. “When I die, I’d do it all over again with you.”Hun blinks in confusion. “What?”“Seriously,” Jaehyun affirms. Sometimes Jaehyun gets too relaxed when he’s high, open and soft--smiling about everything the world has to offer. And sometimes, Jaehyun’s subconscious nitpicks every little thing about himself and tries to shove it out of his mind.Tonight is the latter.“When I die,” Jaehyun says, “I’m demanding a do-over. I’m going right up to God and saying ‘hey, bring me back by Cha Hun's side!’” His fingers curl around his bicep and Hun raises his brow. He doesn’t see Jaehyun’s jacket anywhere.
Relationships: Cha Hoon/Kim Jaehyun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	every time i look up in the sky (rooftop)

**Author's Note:**

> so...honestly, I don't even know how I came up with this fic tbh. I was just really upset over the past week due to everything that has been going down, so I wanted to write something that would make me happy when I looked back on it. so I guess that's the inspiration for this fic--even if there's a bitter melancholy behind it. here's the playlist I made for this fic. it definitely sets the mood. 
> 
> if you want to listen to it while you read click [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0FZ0H03DIij1015eWeAGcV?si=yCmcW0O5TVCRsU_kZnewuA)
> 
> if you want to contact me and scream about chahyun together, my twitter is [@fnccafe](https://twitter.com/fnccafe). feel free to hit me up!

Hun wakes up to a cold and empty bed, which isn’t how he fell asleep. The covers on one side of the bed are drawn up to the pillow, like if someone tried to make the bed while he was still laying in it. There’s no sound coming from the bathroom or the hall, but Jaehyun’s glasses are still on the nightstand where he’s folded them and his shoes are still on the floor, so Hun knows he hasn’t gone too far. 

He lives not even a full flight of stairs away from the top of the building, the door to the rooftop always left cracked open, so Hun goes to check to see if Jaehyun is there. 

The flashlight on his phone is the light that he turns on first, the bright light letting him see around him. He walks towards the door, tugging a shirt and some basketball shorts on, and heads towards the door to the rooftop. For a moment, he contemplates peeking quietly to see if Jaehyun is up there and going back to bed. HIs phone clock tells him that it just hit four in the morning and his bed is perfectly warm where he was laying just moments before--even though, when the chills hit there will be no calves to intertwine and no extra warmth beside him. 

He trudges up the stairs. Hun knows that he won’t be able to get Jaehyun down until he’s done and he wasn’t going to let him be up there by himself--one clumsy mistake and Jaehyun will fall from a fifteen story building. 

Jaehyun is sitting on the rooftop when Hun hauls himself up, legs pulled up and arms folded across his knees. The faint glow of a lit joint dangles between his fingers, the smoke spilling from Jaehyun’s lips. It is ghastly in the dim light. 

“Thanks for not smoking in the house,” Hun says, settling down next to Jaehyun, shoulders brushing. Los Angeles stretches out beneath them, bright lights and tangled streets vast and endless. Jaehyun holds the joint out towards him, inviting him to smoke, but Hun shakes his head no. 

He won’t be able to sleep if he does. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jaehyun says. It's a bit rough, like it gets from smoking and at three in the morning, and Hun wonders how long he's been up here. Hun wonders how long that Jaehyun had been sitting here, staring at the city lights that burned bright in the distance. 

“You didn't,” Hun replies. Jaehyun shoots him a confused look, causing Hun to roll his eyes. “The coldness of the bed woke me up. There's a difference.”

“That's nit picky. It was cold because I wasn't there.”

Hun can’t help but crack a smile. “Whatever,” he sighs. 

“Is it anything in particular, or…?” Hun lets the question trail off as Jaehyun shrugs. He exhales a stream of smoke. He seems delicate in the darkness and Hun can’t help but stare at the curl of his eyelashes. He always feels like he’s going to fall off the roof with how high up it is, but Jaehyun is always comfortable up here. 

Hun jokes that it is very gargoyle-like, but Jaehyun just deadpans and stares at him. 

“I mean, it’s just…” Jaehyun gestures towards something. “Ah, I don’t know how to say this.” Hun knows it’s one of those nights. It’s one of those nights where Jaehyun’s mind wanders, where it causes him to overthink and not be able to sleep. It’s one of those nights where Jaehyun left with all the rights and the wrongs and the broken in his brain. Hun knows he gets like this, so even though he doesn’t smoke he keeps some in a small wooden box in the dresser. 

They’re for Jaehyun when things get to be a little too much. 

Hun watches Jaehyun lift the joint to his lips and takes a slow, measured drag. He remembers being shocked the first time he saw Jaehyun smoke in the dorm, laughing with his shirt off when he went to visit Seunghyub. He wasn’t even sure how the RA didn’t care and he remembers how every corner of the dorm room had that sickeningly sweet smell. 

“When I die,” Jaehyun says suddenly. It’s a quiet whisper, but the night is still and the words carry. “When I die, I’d do it all over again with you.” 

Hun blinks in confusion. “What?” 

“Seriously,” Jaehyun affirms. Sometimes Jaehyun gets too relaxed when he’s high, open and soft--smiling about everything the world has to offer. And sometimes, Jaehyun’s subconscious nitpicks every little thing about himself and tries to shove it out of his mind. 

Tonight is the latter. 

“When I die,” Jaehyun says, “I’m demanding a do-over. I’m going right up to God and saying ‘hey, bring me back to Cha Hun's side!’” His fingers curl around his bicep and Hun raises his brow. He doesn’t see Jaehyun’s jacket anywhere. 

“It doesn’t work like that, Jae,” Hun replies. He shrugs off his jacket, handing it over to a shivering Jaehyun.  _ We’re not going back inside for a while _ , Hun thinks,  _ at least the night is nice _ . He shifts close to Jaehyun, feeling the warmth that radiates from his skin.

“Aish, it works how I want it to.” Jaehyun sticks out his tongue and twists the joint between his fingers. It’s almost gone. “When I die--whenever the hell that’s going to end up being--I’m coming back and doing this again.  _ We’re  _ doing this again.” 

Hun is apprehensive of how easily Jaehyun slips into ‘we’ sometimes; how dangerous it is. “Do what?”

“Everything,” Jaehyun gestures, “The whole fucking thing. I’m convincing my parents to move to Los Angeles so I can find you. Or I’m gonna get your parents to move you out of LA and to South Korea. Whichever is more plausible-” 

Hun snorts. “Yeah, because my mother would totally listen to some weird rich kid, leave her cushy job at a law firm, and move her family to Korea.” 

“Didn’t I tell you this works however the fuck I want it to?” 

Hun holds his hands up. “You did. Please, continue.” 

Jaehyun cards his hands through his hair. “I don’t know. I want to meet you sooner the next time. I want to find you before everything gets all fucked and weird. Before meeting you and before I treated you bad before recognizing my feelings. Meet you sooner and do it right, and maybe it means everything is different, but if I’m with you it’s alright.” 

“Have you been reading romance novels again?” Hun knows that he’s trying to hide behind pathetic attempts at joking, to brush Jaehyun off, because if he didn’t the thought of it was too much to handle. 

Hun could hardly think about how he’s going to make it from day to day, let alone what he could do-- _ would  _ do--with a chance to start everything all over again.

“I want better than this,” Jaehyun sighs.

“What’s wrong with this?” Hun asks. 

“Me,” Jaehyun replies, “I want to treat you better, and my sister better. I want to stop being so...bad.” Hun watches the wisps of smoke spilling from his lips. Jaehyun looks at him with sad eyes. 

Hun can’t help but scoop Jaehyun into his arms, holding him close. He can taste the smoke on his tongue. 

“Well.” Hun bites his lips against everything he wants to say. “What do you want to do now? We’ve got a bit of time before the clock restarts. What now? 

Jaehyun brings the joint to his mouth and Hun can see that it is just about burned out. 

“What if we take a picture together?” Jaehyun asks. He stubs out the end on the tiles of the roof. 

“I mean, why not?” Hun replies. He faces the camera and smiles, but Jaehyun moves Hun’s head to face him. “What?” 

Jaehyun digs his phone out of his pocket, unlocking the screen. He looks back at Hun, who looks confused. “Can I kiss you?” he asks. 

“I-uh-yeah,” Hun replies. “Is this what you’re going to take a picture of?” 

“Yeah.”

Jaehyun places his lips on Hun’s and smiles. The countdown on the camera counts down until it hits zero and Jaehyun kisses Hun fast. 


End file.
